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I AM SICK OF IT!!!

I am fed up with parents treating me like I am lower than a servant and ordered me to do things using my first name! I am fed up with students who think that they could get away with anything because their parents would challenge the teacher that the teacher did wrong.

I am sick of colleagues who would try to make a scapegoat out of you even if it has nothing to do with you. I am sick of colleagues who cried at me to gain sympathy and make me the bad guy when I stand up for myself in refusing being the scapegoat. I am sick of colleagues who worked with you as a team, and then back-stabbed you for not pulling your weight in it.

Having a double master degree is not my choice for God's sake! I didn't do it to spite those of you who didn't have one, but because of the stupid HK education system about how 'English should be taught by an English major'! We have been colleagues for 6 years and they still don't know what kind of person I am? Or they know too well that they want to make an example of me for being who I am and not some lapdog?!

I really need to find another school for next academic year, or else I'll explode real soon, and I will have no squirm exposing their skeletons in the closet!
I have never regretted about choosing teaching as my profession. I like children very much and I hope to educate young minds to think for themselves while understanding the constraints of the world.

I know that politics is everywhere, with no exception even in the education sector, but what I really hate is how politics, the struggle for power, could sideline what is really important, the education of young minds.

It's rare of me to use this kind of vocabulary, but incidents at work these past 6 months really upset me, especially that they concern not the young minds, but the young minds' parents, who would lie and even fabricate claims so that they could get what they want from the school and teachers, no matter how REASONABLE or UNREASONABLE.

I still love my students, who are both angels and devils-in-disguise. They can be so sweet that my teeth would rot, but at the same time, they could be very naught. No matter how they are, I love them to bits because they are children and they are also my students. It is just some of their parents whom I can't stand.

*sigh* Maybe it's time for me to have a change of scene?

~ Calbee
Last year I said I blamed the facebook for keeping me away from lj. Now I think I am going to come back for good.

I think I did do something wrong last night when I expressed that I was exhausted from being angry with the boys doing poorly in the assessments on my facebook status I admit that I didn't think carefully as I didn't think that some of my old boys (who are friends on my fb) would tell my current students what I said on there. I deleted the post this morning after being 'advised' by a colleague.

Earlier, I went to see 'The King's Speech' again with two of my colleagues and afterwards one of them mentioned that Geoffrey Rush's Lionel Logue reminded her of another colleague of ours in the way he spoke - the no nonsense way. I find it interesting that we didn't think of it sooner, so I put it on my status to express my amusement of the realization, and I got a few responses on my post. One friend/colleague said 'Really?' and the colleague who suggested it replied jokingly using (:P) to show her amusement of being mentioned in this observation. However, the last message really hurt me as it was left by another colleague whom I considered close enough as a friend, disagreed with the observation and scolded me for saying something like that.

I use the fb as a way to connect with those whom I feel close with and to share my (amusing) observations. However, with the way things are going, I suppose showing who you are is no longer safe on the fb.

I suppose I'll be coming back to lj more now to protect myself, but I am still really upset. I might be a teacher, but I am still a human being. Why can't I show my amusements or observations like any other people, especially with today's situation, when I didn't mean it in a bad way, or gossiping about my colleague. I mean it as a compliment that we admire his no nonsense sense of humour just like Geoffrey Rush's Lionel Logue.

~ Calbee

How time flies...

It has been months since I last wrote here. I blame it on the facebook. It is so easy to update little notes and stuff on there that I forgot all about really sitting down to write quietly. Anyway, loads of things to update.

First of all, on my studies. So far, I am doing well. I had 4 modules so far, and I passed them with flying colours. 1C+ and 3B. Not bad for my standard, considering that I am working at the same time. However, the most unexpected result from my studies is that I made some very good classmate and friends. Now that it's near graduation time for the fulltime ones, i am trying to kick some of them into my profession. LOL! Well, that's their fault for telling me they don't know what they want to be! Good teachers are not enough out there, but good friends who are teachers too are never enough!

Remember the drama classes that I supervised? They had their performance at school last night, and boy oh boy, I am seriously surprised. Things that you expected to go wrong didn't, but things you didn't expect to, did! My younger students performed marvellously, but my older boys who had rehearsed perfectly had quite a number of mishaps on stage! Luckily, they did learn the idea of improvise (which I drilled in them), so no one knew something went wrong. Anyway, the most shocking thing out of this is that... I HAVE TWO GORGEOUS LADIES/BOYS! Three of my students had to play girls' part, and two of them actually looked beautiful as a girl with the wig and costume. What surprises me even more is that they like it!

Oh, I forgot the most important news... I have been offered the teacher post! I'll be made teacher next academic year! YAY! Not sure about the payrise yet, but fingers crossed, it's going to be a good deal.

~ Calbee

A bout of insanity and pessimism

Something happened today that made me think if I had become less sensitive? Or cynical?

I am in charge of the afterschool drama classes for the Grade 2 and 3 boys. They were having their audition today, and I am very pleased with their performance. However, something that the visitor from the drama organization said to me made me think if I am so used to this 'situation' that I have resigned myself from reacting accordingly.

I told her that I was pleased with their performance, but I was worried about their discipline on stage. She replied saying that my worry was obvious, "Your boys are the brightest I have seen so far for this age group, and they can act very well, but they are also the worst behaved class I have seen so far. They have no respect for the teachers! They don't listen at all when they are being given instructions."

I am so used to their bad behaviour, or rather, resigned that they are not going to change. However, the comment that "they have no respect for teachers" really struck a cord to me, and i couldn't help but tell her in resignation that it was a result of being spoilt by their parents and also the disrespect came from their parents disrespect for us. What really got me thinking, or feeling upset, is that I am so used to this 'cycle' of behaviour that I didn't feel 'offended' (as in being all worked up) anymore.

I don't think you would get calls from parents complaining about you being a harsh marker, or 'demand' you to give more marks to their children even though they didn't give a logical answer in their exam... I am so used to it now that i find it 'normal'. It makes me wonder again if I am a customer service representative or a primary school teacher. I am doing things that are not related to education. How could I when the parents wouldn't let their children i.e. my students, take the responsibility of being a student/learner, and also bear the consequences of their behaviour?

I haven't thought about leaving this school, because I love my boys, especially the well-behaved ones. However, the incident today causes me to think if I should look into going to another school after I finish my master degree next year. I want to know if it is this school is abnormal or if the education atmosphere in other schools is like this as well.

I know all this might not sound really like me, but granted that I have developed a headache since their audition this afternoon, I supposed I am entitled to a bout of insanity and pessimism.

~ Calbee

Chinese New Year Reflection and Resolution

Well, first post for 2010 and it's already Chinese New Year.

I guess I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Dad has recovered (although giving us quite a few false alarms on the way) and I had graduated from PGDE (the graduation ceremony is tomorrow). Work is fine so far this year, and the boys are as bad as ever (with the cute ones cuter than ever). Sometimes I think I like them too much for my own good. As for studies, I am enjoying it much better than HKU. It's not easy since I am not English major, but I am having a grand time hanging out and studying with my classmates. We are like old friends eventhough we have only known each other for 5 months, and let's not forget our age difference too. The weirdest thing is that one of the boys in our group is in fact an old boy from the school I am teaching now. I could still remember his face when I said I taught in the school, and he paled thinking that I might have taught him in his last year of school there! LOL!

Anyway, looking back that it's almost 4 years since I came back, I think I am still getting round to the idea that I am now a teacher, and more recently, a qualified teacher. I have never thaught that I would be a teacher, but fate is a funny thing and I love where I am now, and I hope it would stay that way for the coming year at least.

Happy Chinese New Year! 新年快樂!恭喜發財!

~ Calbee

BIG PROJECT....

Sorry for disappearing like that for so long but things just get really hectic this summer with the early school closure and my trip to UK with my students, the start of my Master programme and work, and last but not least... a December wedding.

Don't worry, I am not getting married! My firend is, and she didn't tell us until two weeks ago, so I have been spending any free time I have to make her a special wedding present. Thankfully, it's almost finished...




~ Calbee

Candy Dolls for the end of the term!

Since it is very likely that the school suspension for primary schools would be extended, it's now unofficially summer holidays already, while at the same time, I have marked and recorded all the students' grades for report card... I have nothing to do now. Hence, I turn to making candy dolls again. ^^

elouai's doll maker 3elouai's doll maker 3elouai's doll maker 3

I have passed my PGDE!!!


It sure is a roller coaster day in Hong Kong today. First we have the suspension of the schools starting from tomorrow, and then I finally got the last of my PGDE grades!

I have got a B for Educational Studies last year, and a B for my Literature Elective this year. And today, I went to pick up my grades for my research project and my teaching practicum. I got a D for the research project and a C for the teaching practicum.

They are pretty low marks, but with her threatening to fail me in both these modules, I am very happy that I passed no mater what the grades. I have to say a big thank you to the second examiner for my teaching practicum, whom I know had fought for the higher grade that I was not expecting. Thank you, Winnie!

Well, I passed all my modules... So... it's GOODBYE HKU and HELLO POLYU! I am really happy to have got my PGDE finally, and I can finally move forward for my language master degree in POLYU!

Back to the suspension of the schools. Because of the outbreak in one of the secondary schools in HK, all primary schools, special education schools and kindergartens are suspended for 14 days. That means that the UK trip in August with the students could be cancelled. Well, fingers-crossed, it is not going to be cancelled. If not, I can always use the whole summer to lose more weight. LOL!

~ Calbee